About

My name is Christina, and I am a Korean adoptee. I was adopted by my family when I was two years old. I grew up in a small town in Minnesota with my parents, my older sister, and my younger brother.

My husband and I live in Minnesota with our two sons who bring immense joy and laughter to our lives, and routinely remind us that, as parents, we don’t really know what we are doing half the time, but we are loving the process of learning as we go!

I am not a social worker, but I have been working in the child welfare world for 11 years. I have served as a volunteer sexual violence crisis counselor for 12 years, and previously volunteered as a Guardian ad Litem. I am not an expert in anything, but I would definitely say I know a thing or two about being an adoptee!

I like to think of myself as kindhearted, loving, passionate, caring, deeply flawed, fierce, and genuine. I love with every fiber of my being. I can be incredibly sarcastic and silly at times. My sons are my everything.

I am a pretty introverted and quiet person, but I have always loved writing, and have always best been able to express myself on paper. “Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee” is a place where I share openly about my journey as an adoptee, a mom, a child welfare professional, and an advocate—along with the issues that I am passionate about and inspire me to write.

In addition to my blog, I am a regular contributor for The Huffington Post. My writing has been featured on BlogHer and The Good Men Project, and I am also one of the contributing authors for the anthology, “It’s Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, and Open Adoption”.

Thank you so much for joining me on my journey!

 

16 thoughts on “About

  1. marybeth says:

    I am so grateful for your blog. It expresses how I have felt as an adoptee for my whole life. I am 26 and just starting to recognize the tremendous pain and loss I have suffered from adoption. One person once said that adoption is the only trauma in which the victim is supposed to feel grateful by the whole of society. And that is so maddening. What else is maddening is that all of the support groups for adoption are for birth parent or adoptive parents. I can’t find any for adoptees. So again thank you for your blog. It is another voice who shares my feelings.

  2. anonymous says:

    Hi Christina

    Thanks for sharing your story and feelings so openly. Absolutely wonderful and comforting to read an adult adoptees words.

    Since your roots are Italian and German, do you also speak those languages or have a European passport? Perhaps you can write about Italian / German celebrations you experienced at home, even favorite recipes / traditions. 🙂

    You have a warm, calm and open heart, only a little angry. Why do you think there are some adoptees who are “angry”, affected so deeply by the anguish of being adopted?

    Please ignore the b.s. email… thanks for understanding my need to remain anonymous.

    Attn: Marybeth

    You are so correct. It is entirely maddening that “adoption is the only trauma in which the victim is supposed to feel grateful by the whole of society.”

    Please read ‘Primal Wound” by Nancy Verrier and “Coming Home to Self,” both by Nancy verrier. Here is an angel who understands your pain and acknowledges the horrific trauma adoptees experience.

    • I, unfortunately, don’t speak German at all, and only know a few Italian words and phrases. But, I can make a mean meatball and marinara! 🙂

      I was very fortunate to have been adopted by a wonderful, loving family. I know of many adoptees who were abused and essentially rejected by their adoptive families. Some adoptees have discovered that their birth parents were coerced into relinquishing custody and others were actually kidnapped. Adoption is incredibly complex and I truly feel that there is no right or wrong way to deal with the trauma of losing one’s birth family, culture, and identity. Some adoptees use their experiences to help educate adoptive families and child welfare professionals, and others are advocating for adoptee rights and adoption reform. Though, I personally, don’t necessarily identify with those who are advocating against adoption, I believe their voices deserve to be heard.

    • That’s wonderful! I completed a 40+ hour training prior to becoming a GAL. The time commitment varied quite a bit, but I think I averaged about 10-15 hours per month (I only had one case). Let me know if you need additional information!

  3. Dawn Hayden says:

    Hello Christina! I have forward a couple people your blog, they are very interested! My 2 daughters go to a Chinese Charter immersion school, and it’s so important for me ,as a adoptive mom to hear how my 2 daughters may feel from the other side of the mountain, so to speak! Still hoping my story didnt throw you off too much lol!
    Thank you, Dawn H.

  4. Monica Anderson says:

    Loved reading your article in AdoptTalk. Cultural identity, grief and loss and so many more are things we as social workers try very hard to get families to understand and continually process with their adopted children. Keep up the good work and sharing your PERSPECTIVE.

  5. Wondering as I wander says:

    I was adopted by my grandparents. I am Mexican and Jewish, but I have blonde hair and blue eyes. It is interesting, I felt like I never belonged, even to my own supposed heritage. I was never told about my biological dad, as i was adopted by my maternal grandparents. I feel in a way I can relate to some of your feelings, not all of course, and not completely, as I have never experienced your life. But I can say that I know you are strong, insightful and so beautiful! I read that you thought you were awkward when you were younger, well it payed off, since now you are so pretty and wise.

    I was reading the other comment, it was about feeling angry from adoption. I wonder why I don’t feel angry. Maybe it was because after 19 years of wondering, I finally saw a picture and knew my biological father’s name, and even met him. I also I have always known my biological mother, despite all the trauma she has put me through. I always felt that I was given another chance with my adoption.I hope this doesn’t make it sound like I don’t think angry feelings are valid. They definitely are. I was just pondering why I didn’t feel that way, more so why other’s feel the way they do.
    Anyway please forgive my rant and possibly TMI, I haven’t ever talked to other adoptees, and I’m still pretty young.
    Thanks for this, I love Korea, and every part of your blog. Thank you!

  6. I enjoy your blog and look forward to seeing your travels. We are the very lucky recipients of two beautiful adopted daughters. We enjoy and open adoption where our girl’s birth families are welcome in our lives. It has been such a beautiful journey for us.

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